Love, Patience, Character and Hope

September 5, 2000
(Day 5 and 360 to go-My year-long quest to grow closer to God)

This is not working out like I want, but I am not giving up, throwing in the towel, or any of those acts of defeat.  God has never given up on me, and I refuse to let the craziness of my life dictate the outcome of this quest.  I absolutely do not be need to be having my quiet time at the end of the day, or even if I begin my day with God, I don't need to "blogging" this late at night.  It makes me feel like I am trying to meet a deadline for some newspaper.  I do not want this journey to be a pressure to complete, even though I have put a deadline on myself.  Rather, I want this time of writing to be a good, fruitful experience, and perhaps the beginning of something I really love doing anyway. 
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Yesterday and today, Joyce Meyer wrote about some key areas I need to work on:  making love a habit, and producing patience, character and hope in my walk with the Lord.  I don't see life through rose-colored glasses, and I tend to see what is around me with a tinge of cynicism.  What a drag that must be for those just listening to me.  My daughter, Lauren, told me of an actress on Saturday Night Live who plays the part of "Debbie Downer".  I laughed when she pulled up one of their skits on her laptop, but you know what?  I cringed inwardly because some of her comic comments sounded way too much like me. . .ugh again!  I know I could get all offended at myself, and just give up but the Lord is using my daughter and some SNL actress to get my attention.  

Patience, character and hope...I am not there yet the way I want to be but I can honestly say that walking with the Lord as a Spirit-filled Christian has produced spiritual traits that I never in a million years thought I would ever experience.  Patience...I have walked this out in my life just to even witness the Lord working in a mighty way for my children.  Character is my ultimate goal...I want to be what people see all the time.  Hope...I will never give up hope even though I have come close at times.   I realize that the Lord is always there for me, even when I pushed Him away.  

He is there for you, too.  It may not feel like He's there when you're in the middle of some unholy mess, but He is there.  He love us beyond what we can even imagine, and His grace and mercy never fail.  He never leaves us or forsakes us...what a great and wonderful Father He is to you and me.
Love in Christ,
DeAnn